I am so bored

Hello everybody, I am back out of sheer boredom. The cow has been sitting in one corner of her room quite alot lately, surrounded by lots and lots of paper. I tried eating one of the pieces of paper to provide some entertainment for her since she looks pretty frustrated, but she was not to be amused. Will save my paper-eating stunt for another day when she is a better mood.

I don’t know if she realises this, but her father is going to come back home today and her mum will be back tomorrow (aha! I know because they told me before they left!) and they are not going to be happy. The house is in a mess, she hasn’t done any housework for at least 3 days now. Sunday morning housework frenzy was totally non-existent and the cow remained in her dark corner (well, it’s not so dark cos she has a fluorescent light which she turns on sometimes) without mention of a bath (for me! what are you thinking! of course the cow showers at least once a day. well I’m not complaining about not getting a shower anyway).

Even my best ROFL trick didn’t work as well on her as it does on her parents. It usually makes the old folks go all goo-goo-ga-ga even on their grumpiest of days… but my cow… poor cow… is like a zombie these days. I curled up next to her last night cos it was a cold night, and she turned to hug me. I don’t quite fancy the hugs but I think it makes her happy that I let her hug me. yay. Now I shall just go back to my cat bed and watch her work in her corner.

I hurt my cowwww….

I thought she wanted to play! Well, she probably did want to play but maybe I’m too rough. I’m so sorry I hurt you my cow… I didn’t realise that your face would still be there when I took a swipe at it. Your reflexes are usually faster than that. Maybe we shouldn’t play this dangerous game anymore.

At first I thought she was just pretending to be injured when she started rolling on the bed, howling in pain. But when I saw all that blood I thought to myself, “uh-oh”. And my instinct was to run and hide. But then later I thought about it and decided to be a man (well, not really a human-man) and just say I’m sorry. Luckily my cow fell for my charms and went from, “you’re a very naughty cat!” to “Awww…. i know you’re sorry… it’s ok. Just don’t do it again ok? You see, my face bleed so much, very painful you know…”

She’s a bit naggy but at least now we’re cool.

I want to go toooo….

The cow’s giant friend is coming back from australia tomorrow and the stupid cow won’t let me go with her to the airport to fetch him! Hmmmmph. She says the ride will be long, blah blah blah and a whole lot of lame excuses. Give me a break. I’ve been for long rides before - we went to grandma’s house! (ab: upper thomson rd to ang mo kio is NOT a long ride) Yeah whatever. I’m going to insist the whale stay home with me tomorrow. It’s not fair that he gets to go everywhere while I’m cooped up in the house most of the time (ab: life isn’t fair). I want to go out and exploreeeee! I already know every nook and cranny of the house. Probably better than the cow’s entire family put together. I want to see the world (minus dogs)….

Mmm… tasty cream

My cow came home late today. I was about to start nagging her about coming home late and making me wait up for her when I noticed that there was a sweet smell emanating from her. It was all over her. I pounced on her while she was at the computer and licked her knees up and down. Yummy. I think she didn’t like it though.

Where did she go that she is so excited about? She was beaming from ear to ear and started pounding away at the computer the minute she got home. I don’t think she went to the same place as she did on friday night though. Today she smells sweet and sweaty. The other she smelled like smoke and alcohol (yucky). Maybe I’ll ask her later. But for now, I the bed looks soft and warm. I go sleep.

One reason why I don’t like dogs

Is this scary or what.

Cow grandmother

OK. Cow has officially gone berserk with the theme changing again.

Whatever. So anyway, I went to see the cow’s grandmother the other day. Cow and her giant friend brought me over in the car and carried me to the house. I would have rather preferred it if they had brought a nice warm box for me to sit in instead of holding me in their arms. But I think I squirmed enough to ensure that they will bring my carrier along the next time.

Grandmother lived in a flat somewhere in Ang Mo Kio and we had to take the lift. I hate lifts! The first time I saw the doors opening at cow’s place I had such a fright - I thought it was the mouth of a giant cat-eating monster. I realise alot of cats can fit into one lift. The opening and closing doors still give me the creeps these days. *shudder*

When we reached the place, we were greeted at the door by grandmother’s friends/landlords, whom she and Aunty Helen are staying with. They didn’t seem very nice nor pleased to see me so cow just hurried towards the room after giving them some peace offerings of papayas (yucks! fruits! monkey will like).

When we reached grandmother’s room, I was greeting by the most friendly happy face in the whole wide world! I’d never seen anybody so happy to see me before that I was stunned. I didn’t quite know what to do. So this was grandmother. Cow often tells me about grandmother and how she is such a kind and loving woman who had 11 cats, 1 dog and a menagerie of hamsters in her house. Grandmother sat there with open arms and with a twinkle in her eyes that made me blush. I suddenly felt very shy. When cow put me in grandmother’s lap, I was a bit awestruck and just lay there. It’s sort of like meeting cat-royalty. You just know they are royalty even though they’re dressed in pyjamas and sitting in a wheelchair.

They just let me walk around the room and check out all the hidey-places while they chit chatted about cats and dogs and all things furry. Grandmother later showed me photos of her previous cats. There was this one called Baby who had only 3 legs and was ostracised by all the other cats. Grandmother reckoned the other cats were just bullies, they probably were. Baby looked like a nice cat who was loving and loyal to Grandmother. Her story was a sad one. When she was young, she was bullied and had things tied to her tail until it dropped off. Then she got into a car accident and had to have one of her legs amputated. Some kind person paid for the operation and then send her to grandmother’s place. Grandmother then cared for her and kept her in her own room since the other cats were bullying her.

Eventually, Grandmother had to move out of her previous place because her daughter passed away and her son-in-law was a heartless cad and made her move out. All the cats got sent to an animal shelter owned by a family friend (please donate or volunteer your time to Animal Lovers’ League) and one by one passed away because they were too used to the pampered life and couldn’t take the hardships, Baby included. I think we would have gotten along. I can totally understand the feeling of being taken off the streets and brought into a home where you have food, a soft warm place to sleep and a cow to care for you. I love my cow.

When it was time to leave, I wanted to stay longer. But my silly cow hadn’t put enough parking coupons or something like that and we really had to go. I liked it there. It was a small room but it was full of love and warmth.

Ha! As if!

Cow’s mother came home last night and at the sound of the opening door, cow and I peeked out of our room’s door. I know what makes the mum tick so without any further hesitation I ran out the door to greet her with a MEOW and a big smile on my face (I’ve learnt that cow mother is powerful around the household and it pays to be in her good books. She has exiled me before and she can do it again). Like clockwork, she went, “Maaaaaaaxxxxxxxxx…..” and I respond by rolling on the ground and showing her the white spot on my belly. Probably one of the most subservient gestures from a cat ok. Cow mother then goes all mushywushy, “max…. hello maxxxxxxx…..”. We do this everyday.

Cow immediately gets jealous. She complains that the mum didn’t even acknowledge her though she came running out of the room just a few steps behind me. She huffs and puffs only to be dismissed with a “but Max is so cute what….”

Cow then does the unthinkable. She starts rolling on the ground exposing her not very nice looking belly to both me and her mum. Did she think she could out-charm me??! As if! We both look at her and then at each other. “Poor girl”, we say to each other telepathically.

**
pic of me. since everybody keeps asking for fish pictures. I’ll put my pawprint on it too in exchange for some fish.

**Ab: I took picture down because the settings went all wonky when I changed the theme.

She changed the theme again!!! Merry Christmas everybody.

This is weird.

How come the cow and her mother are still at home? It’s monday! They supposed to be out. Now I can’t go about my usual catty business like scratching the sofa (my broken scratching post is a good excuse to scratch the sofa) and chewing the new tree.

Ooo the new tree! I must talk about it. The cow and her giant friend put it up yesterday. The box was long and narrow and plenty fun! I could hide in it all day and swipe unsuspecting people who pass by it. But I digress. the new tree is waaaaay more fun. Its leaves are absolutely yummy! Plus… PLUS! There are fun balls dangling all over it! Is this my christmas present? If it is so, the cow didn’t say anything about it. In fact, she got a bit upset when I tried climbing it. I’ve plucked 2 of the balls already. Challenging, but not beyond my intelligent self to extricate from the bristly leaves.

I’ve stashed them at my hidden ball-stashing-place. So far my collection includes golf balls, ping pong balls (of various colours!), a pink fish that’s round like a ball, and now… christmas balls! At first the cow wanted to put some gold ribbons on the tree, but after I ate up a small bit of ribbon, she changed her mind. On hindsight, I should have waited till all the ribbons were up, and eat it bit by bit. She might not have notice. Oh well… I simply couldn’t resist the ribbon. As a cat, I have uncontrollable urges. Like dangly things, rolly things, mousey things, furry things… and gold ribbons. So anyway, now I have to wait for the gold ribbon to pass out through my poop. The damning thing about eating ribbons is that it kinda takes a long time to pass out… There is a big chance I’ll have to run around the house with half the ribbon sticking out of my ass. Bummer. (This is not to mention the wrath I will incur from the cow and her family).

**update**
I’ve pooped the gold ribbon out. Luckily for me (and the cow) the ribbon rolled itself up and come out in one shit. YAY!

I got a bath.

I don’t understand. Why do I have to take baths!?? I am a cat. Cats are naturally clean. Cats are hydrophobic. Even the whale doesn’t take baths (I heard he’s only taken 2 baths his entire life), and whales are meant to live water. Just because this particular one doesn’t like water, the cow makes each of his baths into some sort of celebration. She coaxes him into the washing machine and is right there the minute the wash cycle is over to be his personal cheerleader. “Oh, whaley, woooooow…… you are sooo brave….. now you just need to go into the dryer and you’ll be dry again!!! muak muak muak…”. Oh please, give me a break. He’s a whale!

I, on the other hand, have to take a bath once every two weeks. It’s really not fair. Today, when my most menacing meow-growl didn’t work, I climbed behind the cow’s neck and sunk my claws into her back. That’s one place I know she can’t reach. I learnt that from watching her shower, she has to use a towel to reach that place on her back. She was screaming in horror and threw a big fish towel over me. I didn’t release my grip and threatened to rip the skin her back if she tried to throw me off. She had to run out of the toilet to ask her dad for help. Haha. I got her covered in soap and dripping with water. Take that! You shower nazi.

Even the poor rabbit had to endure this when she was still around. I asked her about it once and she said, you’ll just have to get used to it. She goes through her bath with such stoicism it’s admirable. I guess it’ll take some time for me to get to that zen stage. But for now, I’m putting up a fight.

Phew, I thought she was dead.

The cow came home today and I could tell there was something wrong with her. She picked me up for my daily birds’ eye tour around the house and she seemed pretty weak. Then she went to her room and I hung around outside waiting for the cow mother to come home.

Later on I went to check on her and she was lying sprawled on the bed. It was still quite early. I thought she was dead! I don’t really know how to tell if a cow is dead or alive so I tried nudging her but she didn’t move. In the end I gave up and snuggled up beside her dead(?) body and went to sleep. Maybe she’s still alive if she’s warm.

Luckily she got up a couple of hours later and went to shower. I usually go and observe her daily ritual of showering. Just out of respect for her courage to splash around in water (yeeesh), but I was lazy so I stayed in bed.

In any case, I’m just glad she’s still alive. I think she must have been really tired. Wonder why she has so much work these days.