Ha! As if!

Cow’s mother came home last night and at the sound of the opening door, cow and I peeked out of our room’s door. I know what makes the mum tick so without any further hesitation I ran out the door to greet her with a MEOW and a big smile on my face (I’ve learnt that cow mother is powerful around the household and it pays to be in her good books. She has exiled me before and she can do it again). Like clockwork, she went, “Maaaaaaaxxxxxxxxx…..” and I respond by rolling on the ground and showing her the white spot on my belly. Probably one of the most subservient gestures from a cat ok. Cow mother then goes all mushywushy, “max…. hello maxxxxxxx…..”. We do this everyday.

Cow immediately gets jealous. She complains that the mum didn’t even acknowledge her though she came running out of the room just a few steps behind me. She huffs and puffs only to be dismissed with a “but Max is so cute what….”

Cow then does the unthinkable. She starts rolling on the ground exposing her not very nice looking belly to both me and her mum. Did she think she could out-charm me??! As if! We both look at her and then at each other. “Poor girl”, we say to each other telepathically.

**
pic of me. since everybody keeps asking for fish pictures. I’ll put my pawprint on it too in exchange for some fish.

**Ab: I took picture down because the settings went all wonky when I changed the theme.

She changed the theme again!!! Merry Christmas everybody.

She’s back!

The cow is back!! She’s been away in Bangkok since Thursday and I had great fun at home with her parents. Let’s just say they had my undivided attention. Heh. Last night I was even allowed to sleep in their room. I took the opportunity to inspect the cow mother close up. Normally she’d get annoyed if I went too close to her face, but last night… I checked if she had dandruff (she doesn’t), bad breath (nope) and other various common human afflictions (all clear). I also chewed on her toes but that was just me being annoying. Hey! I can’t resist wriggling toes! Oooo… add that to the list.

Anyways, the cow brought me a present. She brought this huge blue bag out and cow mother and I gathered around cos it was present time! She then pulled out this giant brown glob of a thing and went, “maxmaxxxxxxx… this is for you!!!” and put it on the floor looking at me expectantly. What did she expect me to do? I didn’t even know what the heck that thing was. Did she want me to go, “why, thank you very much! you know I’ve always wanted a brown blob thingie”. She looked kinda disappointed and then promptly turned her attention to the mother who seemed to appreciate her gift more than I did mine. Although I must say, I think I would have liked her gift better. Shiny dangly things that I can hang on my ears sounds like potentially endless hours of fun to me.

**update**
Ooo I found out what the brown thing is for! It is for sleeping on! It is just perfect and I love it. Love it! I sleep on it all the time. It also makes the cow happy seeing me sleep in it. Not that I feel there is a need to make her happy… but… ’tis the season to be jolly after all isn’t it. (And I do love the brown cat bed thing).

eeeek

The cow came home a brilliant shade of red and very stinky today. I didn’t know they could change colours. Like a chameleon! I wonder what colour she will be tomorrow.

Maybe violet. Violet is a nice colour. I will suggest this to her later.

This is weird.

How come the cow and her mother are still at home? It’s monday! They supposed to be out. Now I can’t go about my usual catty business like scratching the sofa (my broken scratching post is a good excuse to scratch the sofa) and chewing the new tree.

Ooo the new tree! I must talk about it. The cow and her giant friend put it up yesterday. The box was long and narrow and plenty fun! I could hide in it all day and swipe unsuspecting people who pass by it. But I digress. the new tree is waaaaay more fun. Its leaves are absolutely yummy! Plus… PLUS! There are fun balls dangling all over it! Is this my christmas present? If it is so, the cow didn’t say anything about it. In fact, she got a bit upset when I tried climbing it. I’ve plucked 2 of the balls already. Challenging, but not beyond my intelligent self to extricate from the bristly leaves.

I’ve stashed them at my hidden ball-stashing-place. So far my collection includes golf balls, ping pong balls (of various colours!), a pink fish that’s round like a ball, and now… christmas balls! At first the cow wanted to put some gold ribbons on the tree, but after I ate up a small bit of ribbon, she changed her mind. On hindsight, I should have waited till all the ribbons were up, and eat it bit by bit. She might not have notice. Oh well… I simply couldn’t resist the ribbon. As a cat, I have uncontrollable urges. Like dangly things, rolly things, mousey things, furry things… and gold ribbons. So anyway, now I have to wait for the gold ribbon to pass out through my poop. The damning thing about eating ribbons is that it kinda takes a long time to pass out… There is a big chance I’ll have to run around the house with half the ribbon sticking out of my ass. Bummer. (This is not to mention the wrath I will incur from the cow and her family).

**update**
I’ve pooped the gold ribbon out. Luckily for me (and the cow) the ribbon rolled itself up and come out in one shit. YAY!

I got a bath.

I don’t understand. Why do I have to take baths!?? I am a cat. Cats are naturally clean. Cats are hydrophobic. Even the whale doesn’t take baths (I heard he’s only taken 2 baths his entire life), and whales are meant to live water. Just because this particular one doesn’t like water, the cow makes each of his baths into some sort of celebration. She coaxes him into the washing machine and is right there the minute the wash cycle is over to be his personal cheerleader. “Oh, whaley, woooooow…… you are sooo brave….. now you just need to go into the dryer and you’ll be dry again!!! muak muak muak…”. Oh please, give me a break. He’s a whale!

I, on the other hand, have to take a bath once every two weeks. It’s really not fair. Today, when my most menacing meow-growl didn’t work, I climbed behind the cow’s neck and sunk my claws into her back. That’s one place I know she can’t reach. I learnt that from watching her shower, she has to use a towel to reach that place on her back. She was screaming in horror and threw a big fish towel over me. I didn’t release my grip and threatened to rip the skin her back if she tried to throw me off. She had to run out of the toilet to ask her dad for help. Haha. I got her covered in soap and dripping with water. Take that! You shower nazi.

Even the poor rabbit had to endure this when she was still around. I asked her about it once and she said, you’ll just have to get used to it. She goes through her bath with such stoicism it’s admirable. I guess it’ll take some time for me to get to that zen stage. But for now, I’m putting up a fight.

I don’t get a say. hmmph.

The cow decided to change the theme of my blog. She seems to like changing themes alot. I noticed she had the one on her own blog changed many times in the past couple of months. This one looks kinda girly. It’s grey and pink. yeeeesh…. but I’m a cat. So I don’t get a say in these things. Grr. Whatever.

I wouldn’t say the cow has excellent taste anyway. Look at me. I’m brown and I have an electric blue collar.

She came home the other day with new fishes spectacles. She kept asking me if I liked the new look. I pretended I didn’t notice and proceeded to chew on fingers. They’re orange!!! I dunno about cows or humans… but I would never wear a pair of orange glasses! (Apparently the cow said that too before she jumped on the bandwagon and got herself a pair).

Phew, I thought she was dead.

The cow came home today and I could tell there was something wrong with her. She picked me up for my daily birds’ eye tour around the house and she seemed pretty weak. Then she went to her room and I hung around outside waiting for the cow mother to come home.

Later on I went to check on her and she was lying sprawled on the bed. It was still quite early. I thought she was dead! I don’t really know how to tell if a cow is dead or alive so I tried nudging her but she didn’t move. In the end I gave up and snuggled up beside her dead(?) body and went to sleep. Maybe she’s still alive if she’s warm.

Luckily she got up a couple of hours later and went to shower. I usually go and observe her daily ritual of showering. Just out of respect for her courage to splash around in water (yeeesh), but I was lazy so I stayed in bed.

In any case, I’m just glad she’s still alive. I think she must have been really tired. Wonder why she has so much work these days.

This is pretty exciting

I’m actually quite excited by having this blog. Now people will really know what I get up to whenever there is no one in the house. Take for example today. I caught a fishbird. Nobody saw me catch it, but I did. He flew around the area with the shiny white floor and then the area with the brown floor and then came back. I chased him around and caught him but I decided to let him go again. Maybe he’ll come back and play with me again soon.

The cow seemed pretty upset though. She came home and saw that the bird pooped on the shiny white floor. She mumbled something about eating birds (EATING? yucks. I just like sinking my teeth into things. The cereal in my food bowl taste good to me. Not a raw bird). Then she cleaned the poop up. I felt a bit bad for her, cos it’s quite a menial job. But I don’t fancy getting my paws into that bird’s poop. Cats are clean animals you know.

Oooooo a blog!

finally people will be able to understand what goes on inside my crazy catty head! Be warned. I’m a nutty one.